There are so many ways that you and your boyfriend can get off together-mutual masturbation, oral sex, frottage (aka “wet humping”)-that are just as pleasurable, just as “real”, and just as gay as anal intercourse. Anal doesn’t define you as gay men and it certainly isn’t all there is to gay sex. Gay men and boys can be successes in life, in love, and in the sack without acing-or even enjoying-anal intercourse. You and your boyfriend aren’t failing gayness, TUSH. Do we really need to use condoms? We are both virgins and each other’s first boyfriend. We are ready to start having real gay sex-with me on the bottom, at least for now!-and we are frustrated and feel like failures as gay men. We tried and we used condoms, but I think we must be doing something wrong because we can’t do it. (Big surprise!) I tried to talk to my mom about gay sex, and all she said was “please use condoms”. But we are frustrated! We had sex education in our schools, but they didn’t cover gay sex. We are not bullied or suicidal or using drugs. (He’s one year older than me, Dan, so relax!) We are out to our parents and everyone is supportive. I’m gay and a junior in high school, and I’ve had a boyfriend for a year.
